L'Exil...est retourné!

Not much new really. This is the first weekend I feel like i'm going to be in Beverley. Speaking off which there is a real hottie that works over in financial support, called Bev... Yeah so this weekend, I think I will look at getting a home phone line, then maybe the internet. Apparently I can us the work laptop at home, so that could save me some hassles in the meantime.

Girlfriends vs. friends that are girls? A classic Tom dilemma. Not so much a dilemma as more of a bottomless trap. it's always the nice girls who flirt and are taken, and the slappers that come across as desperate and needy (maybe i sound like that...?). anyway, i have this uncanny ability to make friends with girls really easily, but then...where does that leave you? and what about me? all through school, varsity, work, travels - i have a trail of girls, girls' phone numbers, and opportunities that have long since passed. there was sally, sarah, lucy, robyn, kate, katharine, kat (is there a recurring theme here?) etc...schit i don't even remember half of them now. which is bad. mmm-kay. I think i am a serial friend-ist. Doh. this theme definitely needs to be explored further.

things seem to be getting slowly more orderd in my life now. having taken on this new job i thought was going to be just plain chaos, but it is more ordered chaos after a few good discussions with the boss. another good thing she told me (after i said i felt the East Riding should pay for my visa) was that if i gaver her 12 months then that would be sweet. so that's it folks, i'm here for a good time, not a long time. another front has also opened up. some of you may know that i have always wanted to do a PhD, well i have found the perfect place. Ulster University on the north coast of Ireland. it's a place i have previously looked at, as a coastal guru who recently passed away used to be there. they have a good rep. check it out Centre for Coastal and Marine Research Anyway, thats the plan - as for funding, topics etc... who knows? i have just started dialogue with the people there. then i really would be irish, have a million kids, feed them chips and drink my lion's...

How good would it have been to go to a Beatles concert? A guy at my work said he had been and I was jealous. Did you go to one Ma? Her is my gypt trip details... Link it up we leave on Dec 15 - 31st. Me, Sez and Rach, and some of those big pipes with apple flavoured tobacco. I don't smoke realy...!! i think you have to make exceptions for this sort of thing, it's a oncer. Unless of course I buy one. JJ - what did you win on the Scoop election pick? a years supply of brown suits, a new briefcase, wind-proof umbrella, your own caricature at the Backbencher?

I wrote a long blog on the train up to Edinburgh the other day - but I havene't had a chance to get it off the work laptop. Anyway, gots me a new job ow! sweet. More pressure, more work, more money. and the want me to pay for my own work permit which could be a coule of grand - i think i might think long and hard about that one. was good to talk to the whanau this morning, what great timing to ring! My ear was ringing after that - 80 minutes on the phone! It's like having a long sistance girlfriend. Am on my way to london today, missed the train at 1.05 because as of today they no longer exist. choice. so tuck at my favourite coffee house in Hole...sorry Hull. Espresso doble's por favor. TT you are a great striker amigo, Real Madrid will be calling soon. Congrats you two. Have been trying to check out tickets for the Cricket World Cup - but they have no info until later on in the year. Looks like it wil be a March/April thing in 2007. Think I might go diving in Belize or s...

Shawn of the Dead – great flick. Real good piss take of British society. I couldn’t help but draw the analogy with ‘The Office’ and its too-close-to-home humour (it's really true isn't it?). In the UK everybody that comes to the office are clones, same brick houses, same ties and shirts (always purple – how gay is that?). What happened to individuality? Well, at least its not boat shoes, moleskins and Airtex I suppose… Speaking of which, apparently there are real fashion police on the border of France that are regularly checking for ‘fakes’ – fake Gucci, Prada etc…and they know! People are getting pinged for buying fake goods. Now all I can imagine is that anyone that’s been to Thailand would have to walk that border control virtually naked…no more Playboy shirt, genuine imitation Rolex, fake Levis…tragedy.

My new theory: working lunchtimes are a form of parole. It is such a relief to get out of the orifice. PART I: I think the honeymoon is over. My email box is filling faster than I can delete ‘em – always a good indicator of where you’re at. I have crossed the bridge that you get to just after you think you can do everything. You get that feeling of resignation, resigned to the fact that it’s all too complicated, too hard, too much. Who cares? It’s only England. It’s not like it’s my coastline, my kids aren’t going to see it. Some people get so worked up... All the same, a bloody good challenge. Got my interview for the old ‘line manager’s’ job in about half an hour. Still haven’t decided if I want it. I think I could help. The extra £5k would help me too. Have to do a presentation on ‘Sustainable communities’ – what are they? Exactly. PART II: What’s up with two-part interview questions that are so long, you forget the first half? Interview went well, was totally honest with ...

I though this was very clever... "European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possibl...

Geez, they love their committees over here. "In typical British fashion a committee was set up to consider flood defences, particularly in London. As a result, 30 years later, the Thames Barrier was built." This quote was talking about the after effects of a flood disaster in northern Wales in 1953. Here’s a serious question: can I resist the temptation to take the piss for one week? But I love winding people up (as I’m sure you all know). Sarcasm is my ONLY form of wit. Take England losing the recent soccer (can’t quite say football) loss to a ‘national’ team from Northern Ireland. What’s up with that? It would be like us fielding a Maori rugby in the Rugby World Cup, or a Chatham Islands team cunningly concealing our ‘B’ team so we have two chances at glory (or more likely twice the pain). The national game is not football, the national game is losing. And then whinging. And losing again. Until one glorious victory (1966 soccer World Cup, 2003 Rugby World Cup, the po...

That was Andre 3000. Just another day at the office. Have somehow managed to contract a mild form of that lovely little infection called ‘conjunctivitis’. So now am having to get used to wearing specs all day again. As old sir randall elliot used to say “I don’t think you could land a plane with those eyes”. Totally bored today. In that state of mind where you start thinking “what am I doing here?”. I could be living large somewhere else. Maybe I should. Still need some cash though.

I gotta stop doing this, you guys must be getting annoyed (or blase) about all this. New personal mobile phone (including the obligatory ALPHA account so I can phone home for 3p/min) - 0044 77 38005579 . Ellie is reclaiming her old phone. DELETE ALL OLD NUMBERS

Bought me a laptop yesterday with my good ol' NZ credit card - hope it arrives in the post now. Looks like the Combi has fallen through (so to speak)...floor is rusted through and needs about £600 worth of work just to get it to near WOF standard, sooo...Plan B. Housewarming on Saturday night up at the Beckside villa - should be a laugh. And i'm dead keen to go to Parkers - everyone has told me not to go, not to even think about it, just dodgy. Full of 'squaddies' (Army boys), 15 year olds, and 40 year olds - fantastic. Just so long as I don't go on my own. Got my Spain trip coming up. Madrid from Sept 15 to 19 with a few of the SPC boys (Brian, Cam and Matt) - Thailand Round 2. Booked in an Egypt trip with sez and rach for the end of December. Rocking in the Red Sea resorts! BOOm, BOOM - shake, shake da room. PS. I have a cool guitar.

I don't know which way to vote...should I vote tactically and go with winston to deny National an extra seat and then give Winston the power brokers chair that he so covets. Or go with Bob the Builder (who admittedly has got a great gung-ho attitude, at least in my dealings with him through EBOP), thereby giving National the extra seat, getting rid of NZ First. I still want Labour to win, basically because Don Brash is an idiot. No thanks to the nerdy economist leading my country! Plus I know my vote will swing it... Ahhh forget it, just vote Green all the way (couldn't find an econmic policy on their website - but I guess that is the beauty of MMP - it doesn't matter!)

"About 140 years ago, a particularly notorious warlike chief named Te Rauparaha of the Ngati Toa tribe, was being chased by his enemies. He hid in a kumara pit and waited in the dark for his pursuers to find him. He heard sounds above and thought he was done for when the top of the pit was opened up and sunshine flooded in. He was blinded and struggled to see those about to slay him. When his sight cleared he instead saw the hairy legs of the local chief (reputed to have been exceptionally hirsute) who had hid him. Te Rauparaha is said to have jumped from the pit and performed this haka on the spot, so happy was he to have escaped." Thanks to some random website (and Google) - the flatty's story of the hobbit being rescued from the well appears to have substance... KA MATE KA MATE It is death It is death KA ORA KA ORA It is life It is life KA MATE KA MATE It is death It is death KA ORA KA ORA It is life It is life TENEI TE TANGATA PUHURUHURU This is the hairy m...

Somalian arrives in Manukau City as a new immigrant to New Zealand. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr.NewZealandman for letting me in this country!" But the passer-by says "You are mistaken, I am a Pakistani". The man goes on and encounters another passer-by. "Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in New Zealand!" The person says "I noKiwi. I flom Hong Kong" The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says "Thank you for the wonderful Kiwiland!" That person puts up his hand and says "I am from Iran, I amnot Kiwi!" He finally sees a nice lady and asks suspiciously, "Are you a New Zealand citizen?" She says, "No, I from Tonga!" So he is puzzled, and asks her, "Where are all the New Zealanders?" The Tongan lady looks at her watch, shrugs, and says... "Probably at work."