L'Exil...est retourné!

The Beverley Beck at sunset. My house is down the end on the right hand side.

Ma and Pa out on the Thames for a summer cruise. The blisters in the bar after our dinner out in London - Cint and Ellie Now that is a nice family photo isn't it? Ma and Pa and Ellie in front of the Grand Hotel in Scarborough - just up the road from where I live (about 50 miles).

Have awoken to another glorious day in Beverley. The fishermen are out on the Beck with their wide umbrellas, fishing for goldfish (by the kilo apparently), and the rain is falling slightly. Things are coming together nicely here now. Have got the interweb set up, so feel a bit more in touch with the outside world. Matt (flattie) has finally got around to unpacking some of his boxes and the lounge is taking shape with a few more bookcases to cover the bare walls. Still a little bored up here on the weekends. Am waiting for the new Beverley Pool to open so I can go swimming and get fit again. I quite miss swimming actually. And having the beach across the road. Not to mention the Mount's unique climate. Ahh the memories... What's happening this summer? Hahei?

Mum was right.

Welcome to Cambodia. Where dust rules, and the chequed Pol Pot scarf comes in real handy. This was by far my favourite country on this trip (Thailand, Cambodia, and Vietnam in January 2005). Very friendly and upbeat for a country that had the population of NZ annihilated in the space of three years, sometimes just for wearing spectacles. This was the scene of 'the Mette incident' in the hospital in Phnom Penh. This was taken at a road stop/Flat Hills type place on the way into our 7 hour, 130km journey from the border at Poipet to Siem Reap/Angkor Wat. This is actually a hairdressers stall on the road out to the killing fields near Phnom Penh. New George Janis franchise...? What soon became the obligatory happy kids shot...near Poipet. Also home of at least 7 casinos all taking advantage of tax breaks between borders of Thailand and Cambodia. How cool is this? Tomb Raider. This is Angkor Wat. One os a series of massive palace complexes built by successive rulers to hon...

it's taken me awhile but here are some photos from Vietnam. The top two are both in Halong Bay (World Heritage Site), made famous by a Bond movie. Really relaxing place once you got away from all the other boats. That is the view from a massive cave complex we went into. All the rubbish bins were in the form of penguins with bow ties...! Go figure. We had a junk lke that all to ourselves. The other photo is Rich and I paddling. This photo is a classic 'japanese tourist' shot - except in Hanoi, near Uncle Ho's mausoleum.

Things are in a right pickle over here. The government is in the throes of pulling together a Marine Bill for the management of the seas of the UK. I’ve just been to a conference down in London at the London University’s SOAS (School of Oriental and African Studies) discussing these issues. There are so many laws relating to the sea, the coast, coastal margins etc… over here it is ridiculous. Inshore fisheries (out to 6 nautical miles) management is rooted in legislation dating back to 1882. What they need is a complete overhaul of the framework of the marine management system, not some cop-out solution that stays within the confines of previous mistakes. Now combine this myriad of legislation and other policies with me, myself and Irene who are in charge of managing coastal policy in the East Yorkshire. I am having enough trouble getting my head around what’s existing without any support, let alone trying to actually achieve something useful and bring a bit of NZ practicality to...

ooh! i've had fun today. it was wear pink day to support breast cancer awareness. worthy cause, so i hoppped down to superpound store last night after work and bougt me a pair of pink slippers for £1. bargain. then proceeded to cuth the toes off them to convert them into jandals/thongs becasue they wouldn't fit. basically just a bleary, boozy day at the office. BUT i got to meet (sort of) Beverley from Beverley (a.k.a the HOT chick). And she's single, and she's local, and she doesn't work in the same area as me, and she giggles...got to love a giggler. weird thing is..i can't wait to go to work next week! I think tonight could be messy. my first big night out on the town in Beverley with randoms. holding me back is my excessive spending this month - i have £100 to last me til thhe end of the month, including a 4 day weekend in london. Oh dear. I can only blame Egypt and Dell Computers...and MasterCard. Priceless my arse.

It’s Grand Slam time for Tommy! Been talking with an old mate. Let’s call him Andrew Jackson, and let’s say he’s also really tall, he might have blonde hair, and he might have gone to SPC in the same year as me…Well the plan is to head up to Scotland, Murrayfield to go see the AB’s take the Grand Slam. And we’ve got a student discount card for the pub!

So there’s annoying mum – she’s left the office “What are u up to? What are you up to now?” Me - “What do they pay you for?”. There’s also blonde chick. She’s a phenomenon, I’ve never actually seen her but she used to go to gym classes with him. Then there’s café girl, there’s always a café girl. Haven’t see her for awhile. Then there’s Mrs Anal from next door “Your car’s parked in my space”, “What about all those other spaces just over the other side of the lot?”. Yep, so that puts her in a little box. Then there’s gadget-man. This guy’s got everything – numerous different lawnmowers, a new model mini with a cover, and the there’s his Land Rover. £10 says he’s got the best home theatre on the block! Work: There’s Scooby-Doo, a.k.a Tourette’s whistler. He’s an old sea dog, loves a pint or two, and then when it’s really quiet – he just ups and whistles, or sings “Scooby dooby doo,” in a skat jazz theme. Love ‘im. Then there’s Hot Chick. There’s always a hot chick. And she ...

I’ve just had another look at some of the work I’ve been doing at ERYC – it’s all jargon and utter crap! It’s like someone has invented a new language just for natural resource management – all my work is acronyms! Or at least trying to decipher acronyms…SMP2, HECAG, HERAG, CSDMT, CMT, SMT, ICZM. You should have seen my first meeting – every five minutes “What does that stand for?” They’ve even accepted that “Defra” (stands for the ‘Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs’) should not be spelled DEFRA, but like ‘Defra,’.…because its now become a word! English is constantly evolving – but it just seems to be getting shorter. Txting has a lot to do with the new desire for letter economy, not so much word economy, but the ability to use the least amount of words to get a point across.

I like this theme of things I learnt in the weekend. 1. Kiwifruit and banana smoothies are the bomb. 2. Dishes don't do themselves. 3. Still can't roll... 4. The 'Blue Planet' is one of the best documentary series ever. In some cases it took them over 400 dyas to get some of those shots - like the killer whales rounding up and killing the baby Grey Whale for its tongue and lower jaw only. Freaking amazin'. 5. Peter Kay is incredibly funny. 6. A weekend in Beverley with no mates is the perfect antidote for a weekend in London. 7. Hacky sack is like yoga for boys. "I feel so limber...". That's my idea for a music video - film a group playing hacky and then edit the hacky itself out. Then you've got people just doing crazy things with their legs! Brilliant. Nuff said.

I've sucked the kumara and bought me a shiny new laptop...fingers crossed that Dell comes through with the goods in the next two weeks. Shout outs also go to HSBC for helping a brother with his shady deals. Also getting me the internet hook ups. Cher.

I had a weird dream last night. Dreamt I was in a compound, not just any compound, but Britney Spears’ compound in rural America. And I was stuck inside. Listening to her concerts. There were lots of other people there, but I couldn’t find a way out. I managed to get out of the house. And was running across the fields. At that time there were also mock battles being staged – tanks, explosions, gunfire etc…And then it turned into the Krypton Factor. But let me backtrack a little. At this stage I was being chased by a gun-toting Britney. She was dressed up in this rally gothic looking lace outfit [she didn’t look too bad admittedly] holding a high-powered snipers rifle. So there I was ducking and weaving through a battlefield being chased by Britney Spears out to knock my block off. You think that’s weird. Somehow while crawling underneath some wires army-style [enter the Krypton Factor] I managed to get stuck. [Author note: maybe my subconscious is telling me that one run per...

Couldn't be bothered getting out of bed this morning, so was half an hour late for work - started at 8am instead of 7.30am. I must normally dawdle to work becasue today it took me only about 10 minutes of power walking. Heading off to a meeting in york this mornig by bus...as you do when you are im-mobile. Then tomorrow am heading down to London to catch up with the blisters, which I'm looking forward to. the last few days have just been totally greyed-out. If youn were waiting for the sun to get up before you, you'd be in bed all day.

Is this the pinnacle of my career? Have I peaked too soon? What is THE OFFICE? Why am I here? What’s stopping me from driving from Portugal to Shanghai? Or Lapland to Cape Town? Or Alaska to Argentina? I want adventure! When I stare at my computer screen I see....??

Today was my compressed day off. So as you do when you are young, impressionable, carefree – I went down to Hull (pronounced ‘Holl’, equivalent to ‘Hole’)…to go shopping. The sort of shopping spree I went on today would make some go pale. It was quite invigorating spending lots of money really quickly. Shopping is still a chore though, for me and for most men. I felt like a bit of a metrosexual with al my shopping bags walking through the Chav capital of the world. Just need a shave…And no I didn’t buy any tracksuits and goldie lookin’ chains, no sneakers, and certainly no run-of-the-mill spiky haircut with the Kevin Pieterson badger add-ons. Spent about £200 though on new work, play clothes. Much needed. Once you start it’s hard to stop aye girls…??!! I was worn out after two hours. More power to you Cint - I definitely couldn’t shop for two weeks straight. I had to laugh thogh, the first big shopping session I’ve ever really done – and it was in Hull...Nice. I am one classy guy. Y...

So Hull FC lost 71-0 on the weekend to Bradford, Stephen Kearney got sent off in his last game possibly for ever after only 7 minutes. Lesley Vainikolo scored 4 tries – they can’t get enough of him over here. They always have the discussion as to whether he or Jonah is the best, for me not even a comparison. Jonah by a whale.

Actually the pubs within my immediate surrounds are quite laid back, very working class. Today at the Foresters Arms there was the prizegiving for the local angling competition in the Beck. Basically a goldfish catching competition except they do it by the pound. I went there to watch Liverpool play – yet again I have adopted another loser team – like Wellington NPC. Liverpool just can’t buy a goal. I think the best thing for them would be if they lost Gerrard and learnt how to play when he isn’t there. It’s a Newcastle thing – good when Joey Johns is playing but then what happens…? It was basically me and a bunch of local yokels. You can always have a yarn to them.

What a blast! (Beverley styles) Had a pretty good night at ‘The Sloop’ which is my local pub across the Beck. Met a dude named Scot who is the local sports reporter for the Hull Daily Mail. Cricket. Brilliant. These poms can’t handle their Stella Artois at all. Spent the afternoon in York, after talking to Snuffy for the morning. Always entertaining. Walked the walls, saw the York Minster and some random busker with a PIANO playing Les Miserables. Really cool. Otherwise York was just another ye olde English town – city walls, big church, market, nothing extraordinary. Maybe Ireland should be the next trip? Maybe the Lansdowne Road test…